Are You Aware?
by Madi Midnight
Summary: Percy Jackson is going through some really tough times at the moment, actually he has been his whole life. He has been hiding his depression and anxiety from everyone he knows, even his mother. He has been going through a downward spiral and it seems no one can save him. Until someone does


Desclaimer: I do not own PJO or HoO

Warning: Just as a warning this most likely will get a little depressing and emotional. As you will read, Percy is having problems that were only briefly talked about. In future chapters it will get deeper and will be discussed with more detail and such. Just letting you all know so it doesn't come as a surprise

 **Are You Aware?**

 **Chapter 1: Breakfast**

I awoke to the smell of my mother's pancakes, they were most likely blue as they usually are, on a Sunday morning. I looked at my alarm clock that I never used as an alarm and more as just a digital clock. It sat on my nightstand and read 9:17am and way earlier then I usually wake up, but I haven't eaten breakfast in… I don't even remember how long. I've been awake since 8:00am and I'm tired of trying to fall asleep. If I've already been awake for this long it's gonna take awhile to fall back asleep and I don't wanna deal with that today.

It's become harder and harder for me to so much as get up and out of bed. I usually just stay in bed for hours even after I have woken up. It's a Sunday today, I remind myself. No school. No one to constantly remind you of what a waste of space you are. You're home. You're mom and step dad are outside waiting. It's okay. Go out and eat. Don't starve yourself because you're physically drained. There's no reason to be so dramatic.

I sigh and lay in bed for a few moments longer. Sometimes I wish a simple self given pep talk every morning worked as good as I wanted it to.

I sigh again and push the covers off me and wait another second longer before getting up.

I sit at the edge of my bed and try to wake up a little more. I rub my eyes and head to my window to push the dark blue almost black, blackout curtains aside to see what the weather was like. It's raining again today. How nice. I had a feeling it was gonna be cloudy and raining today from the cold and the dampness of the air I felt earlier this morning, before I fell right back to sleep, like I do every morning, no matter if it's six in the morning or twelve in the afternoon. I wake in the middle of the night almost every night and then just fall right back to sleep.

I leaned forward a little before I pushed myself back and turned around to put a grey sweater on over my dark green, almost black, t-shirt from my dresser and walked out of my room.

I stopped and rubbed my eyes once more before yawning and then I continued walking. I turned the corner and found myself in front of the kitchen doorway. I kept quiet and waited to be seen. I leaned against the door frame until my mom or Paul saw or spoke to me.

My step dad Paul Blofis was sitting at the kitchen counter reading the news paper. It's been years since my mom Sally Jackson (or Blofis now I guess) married Paul but it's still so bazaar. Someone in the house actually reading the morning news paper. Someone in the house actually having a proper real job. Someone in the house being an actual father figure. Paul is my second step dad, the first one was… he didn't deserve my mom. His name was Gabe Ugliano and he was an alcoholic and a dead beat. He beat me whenever he felt like it, he beat me for the smallest of reasons just for an excuse to take out his anger on me. He did so much more then just beat me though, it was physical, verbal, emotional, and… I'm not gonna get into that now. I can't now. It's been years, yes, and it's taken me years to try and recover on my own from all the pain and suffering I went through. I hate thinking about that time, our time with him. It's crazy how hard I tried to forget everything. How hard I tried to pretend nothing happened. To pretend everything was fine. To pretend everything is fine.

It doesn't matter now I guess. Paul's a good guy and he treats my mom right and they love each other. Gabe's gone now. And he's never coming back. That's all that matters.

It's been years, what happened then doesn't matter anymore.

My mom was at the stove flipping a pancake when she noticed me and smiled. "Oh good morning honey, you're up early. Breakfast is almost ready, I hope you're hungry."

"Morning. Do you want any help?"

"No that's alright. Go and sit down so I can give you some pancakes"

"Kay... Are they blue?"

"Yes of course! How else would I make them!"

I smiled at her halfheartedly and went to sit down.

I sat down to the right of Paul and put a chair between us. I looked at him for no longer then a moment and then looked to my right and rested my head in my left hand. I yawned and closed my eyes.

"Did you get enough sleep last night? Did you sleep late again? You seem tired. It's the last day of the weekend. You could sleep in."

"No, I'm okay. I woke up and I couldn't fall back to sleep so I just came out to eat breakfast." I shrugged.

"Oh? Did we wake you?"

"No, I just woke up"

"Alright." And with that he went back to reading his news paper and I went back to looking at the wall and resting my head in my hand.

"Breakfast is ready!" Called my mother after a little while. She walked toward us with two plates with blue pancakes and maple syrup to top them off.

She set Paul's plate down in front of him and then set mine down, Paul started to dig in as she turned around and I waited for her to get her plate and sit.

Once she was sat down between Paul and I we both started eating.

"You know you don't always have to wait for me to sit and eat Percy."

"I know." I said as I cut off a piece of pancake with my fork and knife before stabbing it with my fork and eating it.

She sighed lovingly as Paul looked at me, mouth full of pancake. She leaned over and pecked my cheek then turned back to her plate and started eating.

We sat in silence eating our breakfast for a long period of time before I broke the silence.

I turned toward my mom and said, "Mom?"

"Mmh?" She said then swallowed the pancake she had just eaten from her fork.

"Can I go to camp for spring break?"

"You wanna go to camp?" She turned toward me.

"Mmh hmm?"

"Well, I suppose, why not. Just make sure to contact Chiron and tell him you'll be attending camp this spring." She smiled and turned back toward her plate.

"Okay. Cool. Thanks." I said then turned back toward my own plate.

Once breakfast was over I took my plate to the sink and washed it before going back to my room silently.

I looked at the time. 10:23am. It's still so early.

I sat at the edge of my bed looking at the wall thinking of what to do. Once I turned up with nothing I got up and closed my curtains. I went back to my bed and I laid down and pulled the covers over me and closed my eyes. No harm in trying to sleep I guess.

 **x.X.x**

I awoke to the sound of thunder outside.

There haven't been a whole lot of thunderstorms recently. Maybe things are going good on Olympus.

I don't really wanna think about the gods of Olympus, I'm so done with all the wars that they cause but can't fight for themselves. I'm honestly exhausted. I've been through two wars so far for the gods and I'm only sixteen. I still have no idea how I got caught right in the middle of both wars.

I don't really wanna think of Olympus or the gods but I do wanna go to camp for spring break. School isn't really going great for me; I don't have any friends from school, and I don't know what I would do here all day every day for two weeks. So I might as well go there.

I turned around in bed to look at my digital alarm clock. 12:44pm. That's more like the time I usually get up at. Great.

I stay in bed for another half hour or so before finally getting up. I stand and look around. White walls (I'm wanting to paint them a grey colour or something), dark blue curtains, a dark brown dresser to the left of my window, and my light brown nightstand to the left of my bed. My dark grey alarm clock, my grey ear buds, and phone layed on the nightstand. My phone connected to the white charger that was plugged into the wall. My bed had a blue blanket and two white pillows on it. The floor was covered in light grey carpet with a small light blue circled carpet at the foot of the bed. There was a desk in the corner and to the right of my bed that held my school books and homework. My backpack hanging from the back of the chair that was pushed into the desk.

When you walk into my room the desk is straight ahead and my bed a little to the left. My window on the other wall on the left.

I stretch and yawn. I try and rub the sleepiness from my eyes.

I don't know what to do. I do know if I really wanna watch any shows or movies at the moment… I could read, I enjoy reading very much (I don't think I've ever said that out loud to anyone before because I'm scared of getting laughed at and teased) as hard as it is to believe. My grades are awful. I do like reading, and I do try so very hard in school though. It's just really hard with my dyslexia. I like reading but I don't do it often because it gives me such a migraine.

I feel really bad about my dyslexia. I try so hard but I can never get anything right. No matter how hard I study or work I never get better grades because no one can read my writing. I don't know what to do, I'm just so tired.

Seeing as I can't read I'll see what's on Netflix I guess.

 **x.X/End of chapter\X.x**

 **A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PERCY!**

 **I didn't know when I would post this and then it was Percy's birthday so I thought "why not?"**

 **Not a whole lot happened in this chapter, but I'm hoping to make this a multiple chapter story so I'll make up for it in future chapters. I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter of this story! Review please, it'll help a lot with motivation! Any constructive criticism is welcome.**


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